I did not speak Italian when I moved to Rome.
I think I borrowed Rosetta Stone subscription at some point once I realized that I would actually be going to Italy. I made some flashcards. Got stuck repeatedly on the pronunciation of uomo and uova.
I also bought a book called 601 Essential Italian Verbs.
I even though I moving across the world with just two suitcases, I used up precious space to lug that giant grammar guide with me.
I have not opened it once in 16 years.
Back in 2010, google translate was essentially unusable and so I just sort of made do.
Then one day, about two months in, it clicked. I heard it. I could finally hear the rhythm of Italian and start to decode it.
I didn’t speak Italian when I moved to Rome – but I did speak Spanish.
I learned Italian by listening. I was fully immersed in the language, and my Italian quickly became quite good because I spoke based on the patterns I heard most often. As my Italian got better, I started to read in Italian, watch movies, and generally interact with ease. Well – some unease – because Romans are not shy in correcting you. In fairness, the well-intended public shame-ings helped. I remembered my mistakes and avoided them in the future.
I also forgot Spanish.
Re-Learning a Second Language
I studied Spanish seriously, so losing it felt impossible. But spending years interacting daily in Italian without any exposure to Spanish shifted my fluency. I was able to learn Italian by listening because Italian and Spanish are similar. They are not, however, the same.
In fact, the past tense(s), and conditional tenses are quite different (at least to my non-mother tongue brain). And I could only hold on to one at a time.
But, after putting it off for years, I also really wanted to do a Spanish test for work. My comprehension of Spanish was still quite good. I couldn’t remember how to conjugate verbs I recognized while listening into verbs I could actually use in a conversation.
I somehow, with the help of my husband, carved out 5 days in Spain for a 30 hour course. It was an attempt to trick my brain into remembering it knows Spanish, too.
The course was helpful (and it is always amazing to be in Valencia), but it wasn’t very personalized. I came back and confessed to my husband that I did not think I would make it. There wasn’t enough time to prepare.
He asked if I had ever failed any test in my life. (Answer: NO!)
I signed up for a trial run with a tutor that same night on Preply.
I have never used an online platform to find a tutor before, but it was incredibly easy. Right away I was able to pick what language and why I wanted to study. The in-person course I had taken was generic, with people joining for different reasons, and so I felt seen when one of the first options I could select for why I was looking for a tutor was “preparing for a test.”
I don’t need a Spanish certificate for my current work, but it would open up so many more options for me. And after trying a week in a classroom, it was very clear to me that what I needed to practice most was speaking. I speak Italian every day, so I needed a tutor who was patient enough to understand that the leap from bilingual to tri-lingual is a difficult one for me.
Finding a Tutor
I do not do well with judge-y. I want a teacher who is in the trenches with me.
By specifying my goals and my preferred teaching style, I was able to review a short list of suggested tutors. Each one had a bio and a video. I watched Simha’s intro and quickly booked a trial lesson.
Simha has a Masters in Spanish as a second language and seemed high energy and encouraging from her bio. She specified that she could help with test prep, and that was exactly what I needed with the clock ticking down to exam day.
In that first meeting, I explained (in my best Spanish) that I wanted to work on my confidence speaking and that I was looking for really practical tips for the test.
We clicked and I quickly booked 10 more lessons.
I was on a very compressed timeline so I really appreciated being able to see all of my tutor’s upcoming availability and pick a schedule that worked for both of us. It was also easy to reschedule if something changed.
You can also filter for tutors by time zone or country, in case you would prefer a teacher who speaks a specific dialect or is based in a specific area.
Finding the time and space to learn a new language – be that for passion, for travel, or for living and working in another a country is never easy. Having a plan is the first step. For me, that meant using Preply to connect with the right tutor and find hours of the day that I could set aside for a 50 minute session.
I did my Spanish test a few weeks ago and I am still waiting for the results. But whatever level I might be at, I am giving myself a lot of grace because I’m living in a second language. I am raising my kids in a language that is not my own. And I still re-learned Spanish. I am grateful I met Simha along the way.
